Okay so someone roleplayed loosing a baby and I didnt take it well, actually it broke me, it made me cry and want to just give up on everything. If it wasnt for this amazing guy I wouldnt of coped through it. I was a wreck but whats worse is I read two other peoples thoughts on the subject one was complaining that she couldnt get pregnant and the other had lost a baby in the past.. But what confused me was.. They were angry, amazingly pissed off but why didnt I get angry? I cried and felt sick.. Actually I was sick but that was from the shock I think.. I'm unsure.. But I didnt get mad... Is that healthy? Am I holding all my feelings on the inside? Or am I just a shadow of emotion? :'(
I dont know... I feel broken and I see to push everyone away.. My heart is telling me to push M away.. But I dont want to because he makes me happy, more happy than I have ever been in my life time. He makes me feel hope and like an actual good person. I dont know if in future he will hurt me but right now I give him my complete trust. I love him. I shouldnt.. I dont want to.. But I do. It's a pain and that fact I cant be with him at his side through the good and the bad makes me feel like falling down in tears but I understand and the fact he just wants to be with me through words. Is amazingly loveable. I'm falling harder everyday and my love is growing so fast it scares me. I told him about the child situation and somehow he made me feel better, it breaks my heart but yet I was smiling.. He is truly the greatest person I've ever known. I trust him.
If I am with him I know everything is going to be okay....
Just what happens if the song finishes?
-K xo