Everything changes... At one time or another everyone's lives flip upside down...
I feel like that right at this moment... I'm tried of everything.. Sick of everything...
I hate this fake life... I hate faking who I am and can only be myself when  I'm speaking to him and he's fiction not even reality. It's enough though.. He is enough, he is the figment of my imagination and he doesn't give up.
I want this life.. The one I know is impossible and the one I think I only want.. 
I'm so sick and exhausted of being there for everyone I know and not getting their love back, I'm not an idiot I know I don't deserve that and all this is karma. But does it honestly mean I must feel the way I do, I can hide it and I can fake it and sometimes the fake happiness can feel real which makes it all easier but I can't lie to myself. 
I sicken myself, I look in the mirror and I look away immediately and if I look into my past I feel like a failure.
He said he was proud of me.
I just know if he knew everything about me, I would disappoint. 
But I disappoint everyone at the end of the day, I know that's the truth..
-K xo