I'm so very confused right now and I dont think I can make it better this time.. I've always known I wouldnt be able to have children and honestly it never really bothered me.. I mean I was young and I have always wanted to be a mum, I used to babysit all the time and I've always loved children. But lately it's just been getting to me so bad until I'm on the verge of tears, it's stressful and confusing...
I'm not stupid I know I'm wayyy too young to worry about something like this... I should be worrying about my clothes or hair or god even boys.. But I'm not... What kind of girlfriend or even future wife would I be if I cant even give someone there one children.. there is adoption but that would be a hard progress to do.. I mean I'm hardly healthy right now and they would find it wrong to give me a child at this rate...
I'd probably be a bad mother.. they say we become our mums and if thats true I would be better off letting a child find a better home... I still seem to not be able to stop my mind from thinking though...
I'm already a mother on the inside, I know that sounds silly but it's the truth...
I just don't know.. I let myself down and I would probably let my children down.. Maybe it's better off this way... Who knows...
- K xo
