Do you ever wish you could back and change all your mistakes?
But what if those mistakes made you the person you are today....I never used to be like this and I used to be able to just be me. Not care what people thought of me nor worried what people thought. That was the way I had always been and then one circumstance changes it all....Just a few minutes, some extra seconds but it feels like forever when your stuck in the middle.
I wish I could change it....Yes if I did I may not of become the girl I'am today but I may be happier or at least have some more hope that I could survive alone if I had too and I would depend on people too much. I could look in a mirror and feel happy that it was only me standing there. But thats not the case and seen as I cant turn back time I guess I either become the person that I didnt want to be, The person thats weak to other people....Or I can try and fake the happiness, smile through the tears and just hope that I can hold onto the people I love.
I already know I'm going to choose option 2....and thats what makes it worse.
You can look someone in the eye and loose all faith that the person you love is still in there...I would know.
But when you look at yourself and see a stranger looking back at you...What do you do?
I'm terrified of everything lately and thats not okay with me...I've become afraid of things that I've always known...But how can you get rid of a fear that is too far away to grasp?
I guess you just have to learn how to deal with it....
- Kristy xoxo
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